Pure Hatred

I'm no saint, and I'm certainly no victim, either. The one person in this world that I can honestly say I hate and mean it, is my ex-boyfriend, though he never did anything mean to me. His name was Brian, and I couldn't stand him. To this day, I wonder why I agreed to go out with him in the first place. I think it was because he was so different from my high school sweetheart (who I had dated for two and a half years and was obviously sick of). Either way, it doesn't matter. The point is, I dated Brian for nine months, and I really started to despise him after the first five.

"Style"

First of all, Brian is not my type and he's pretty much the exact opposite of me. I've always been more eccentric with my clothing, while he dressed very, very plain. One day I had him pick out an outfit for me; it made sense because I have all sorts of clothing and accessories in various colors, plus I have other fun things like tights, boots, chokers, wings, boas, hair extensions, etc. However, after that, he would start wanting me to pick out his outfits. This made little to no sense, because all he owned were plain blue jeans and button-up shirts (usually plaid and NOT in a variety of colors at all). Honestly, his wardrobe only consisted of these colors: brown, gray, tan, blue.

Another thing that annoyed me was the fact that he would "style" his hair and then ask me if I liked how it looked. Note that my previous boyfriend had long hair that he was constantly cutting, styling, dying, etc. Brian had less than an inch of hair, and it was his natural hair color. He would often try to put it into a faux hawk (which I absolutely despise, as I have a real mohawk with the shaved sides and everything). He would also usually wear aviator sunglasses and looked a complete douchebag.

"Transportation"

I've been driving since my parents forced me to take Driver's Ed at my high school when I was 15. I got my license right after my 17th birthday, and saved up to buy a car when I was 18. Brian had just started taking Driver's Ed when we were dating (we were both 18, but almost 19). Even after he passed Driver's Ed, he couldn't really drive. He only drove ONE time with his mom, and she yelled at him the whole time because he seriously didn't know what to do at a four-way stop (despite the fact that I would drive us everywhere). After that, he gave up, and never got his license. The sad part? HE HAD RECEIVED A BRAND NEW CAR FOR HIS GRADUATION PRESENT! Are you fucking kidding me!?

So yes, I had to drive us everywhere. We both worked at Taco Bell (I actually got him hired there and we started dating after we became coworkers) and for a while, we also both went to the local community college. So we basically went everywhere together and I did all the driving. And guess what he did? He always controlled the CD player. He put all of his crappy CDs in my car and we would be forced to listen to his music every fucking time (I can't stand his music). He would also smoke in my car, and he even bought a cheap plastic ash tray to put in my cup holder! He did this without asking, of course. I eventually made him throw it out so that my parents wouldn't see it.

"Sleep: It's Essential"

Brian and I moved in together at the beginning of the new school term; we had been dating for five months. We decided to live in a town home right off the freeway, along with our ex-coworker, Mark. This was when I really started to despise Brian in every way possible. Not only did we work and go to school together, but now we would have to spend every waking moment together. It was getting ridiculous.

Since we were starting the new school term and I was taking morning classes, I had to change my work schedule to evenings instead of graveyard. Brian, however, was still working graveyard. Guess who had to wake up at 4am every night to go pick him up since he didn't have a car? Exactly. This wouldn't have been so bad, except for the fact that Brian was very needy and his sleeping pattern was way off. So after I would pick him up and take us home, he wouldn't even be tired yet.

Almost every single time, he would beg me to stay up with him and have a bonfire outside. And every single time, I reminded him that it was 4am and that I had class in four hours and wanted to sleep. He never quite got that concept through his head. Sometimes he would beg for me to drive us to the local truck stop diner for coffee, knowing that I hated that place and that I hated coffee. The one time I caved in and did it, I wanted to kill him. We were there until sunrise and it was FREEZING, even with a hoodie on, because they never shut off the fucking fans.

One morning in particular, he woke me up when I didn't have to be up for at least another three hours, and had apparently made me breakfast. Breakfast consisted of scrambled eggs and hasbrowns (I despise hashbrowns, but as I said before, he has trouble remember simple things about his girlfriend). After that, I went straight back upstairs to bed, and he got really upset. "Why can't you stay up with me!?" Seriously, when I'm tired, I'm tired.

I still remember one time when I was getting ready for school and he was still sleeping (which was awesome because that meant I didn't have to shower with him). I told him that he had to be ready in five minutes because we had to leave. He never woke up. I even started the car and waited an extra five minutes, and I finally had to go upstairs and scream at him until he was awake. He simply played the innocent act; "Well I was half asleep when you told me that, I don't remember!" How does it feel to be woken up, Asshole?

"Erectile Disfunction At The Age Of 19"

After Brian and I moved in together, we never had sex. Ever. Why? Because he was never in the mood and could never get it up. Ever. Sometimes I would get up at 3am, put on a sexy outfit and do my hair/makeup, and pick him up from work like that. He would simply smile and say, "You look nice". Oh, realy? I look NICE? Well...? Yeah, that was it. Nothing ever happened. I would try so hard, but I eventually gave up.

Eventually, I cheated on him. Yes, I know I'm a cold heartless bitch, and all of that. I've cheated on boyfriends before, including my high school sweetheart and my first boyfriend. I haven't cheated since the time I cheated on Brian, and that was about two and a half years ago. So no, the phrase "Once a cheater always a cheater" isn't necessarily true.

Basically, I found someone on MySpace that I hadn't seen since high school (Will). We arranged a night to meet up and fool around while Brian was at work. I lied and told Brian that I was going to a friend's house. Really, I met up with Will at his work (Pizza Hut, ironically) and we drove back to his place and did the deed. When it was over, I spent the night and went back home the next morning. Brian never had a clue.

"Destructive Ending"

I cheated on Brian again about a week later; it was the night before his birthday. I know, I'm horrible, blah blah blah. See, he had a couple of old friends over that night for beers, but he had to leave for work. So while he was gone, I invited Will over. Will brought some friends and a ton of beer. Eventually, everyone left except for me, Will, and my roommate Mark (who was very passed out on the couch and had been for some time). Will and I did the deed again, and afterward, he left a very rude message in lipstick on the mirror, for Brian to find.

Brian had called me during this party, and he knew that Will was over there with friends. I knew that by the time he got home, he would be very upset with me because he didn't trust/like Will (we had all gone to the same high school and supposedly Will raped one of Brian's friends, which we now know isn't true). As soon as Will left, I cleaned up the mess he had made on the mirror, which took a very long time. I also threw away all of the empty beer cans and put them in the recycling, which also took a while. Finally, I did the dishes and put the hard liquor away in the freezer. I even wiped up the tables and counter tops; the house was completely spotless and nobody ever could have guess there had been a party there that night.

After that, I knew that Brian was due home at any minute (his mom was driving him), so I went to bed, still with makeup on. As soon as he got home, he apparently made his mom come inside with him. He woke up Mark and asked him what had gone on, but Mark didn't remember a thing and I believe he had even passed out before Will and his friends had arrived. Mark was very shocked at how clean and booze-free the house was. Brian immediately assumed that Will and his friends had taken our hard liquor, so he woke me up to yell at me. I told him that the liquor was in the freezer.

At this point, I was VERY exhausted and passing out, but Brian wouldn't have it. He dragged me out of the bed and demanded to know why I invited Will and his friends to the house. That's when he saw the hickies on my neck. Yes, hijinz insued. He proceeded to call out to his mother, "MOM! Mallory has a bunch of hickies on her neck!"